On the day before 15 March, someone stroked me with a question in
Facebook I never put my thought into it. The question was, “Are you
excited to be 20?” I never came across this thought before and I could
barely answer it. Minutes have passed and I still can not come up with
an answer. Slowly then, I lied my head on the pillow, kept my phone
aside, placed my hand on my forehead, looked out my window, and started
to ask myself the same question again and again.
After all, I thought it through. I knew that I could not let go of the
perfect memories I had in the past and there are million of times I
cried because I wish I could go back there. Remaining as an innocent
child is like living in a world with no worries. However, I have to move
on. I might not know what tomorrow will bring, but I know that it is
going to be a tough path. Somehow I am afraid but I keep encouraging
myself. From 20 on, I will have to learn the responsibilities and to make clear
decision even though I hate to choose between things or people. Can’t I
just have to stick with one person for the rest of life? I really have
no idea what I can do with my life later on or whether I still have to
follow the damn rules they put me into. I am an adult now, when will my
life belong to me? I experienced a lot of disappointments lately.
Perhaps there are even tougher situation than I thought. I will have to
be ready!
Overall, I am still not accurate to say whether I am excited to be 20 or
only half of the percentage. Nevertheless, one thing I like about 20 is
that I get to graduate from “hell"and enter university. Furthermore, I
get to work and earn cash. Ugh, can’t wait!
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